Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is lobbying Trump for "National Landmark" status, pegging it to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K merchandising boom has made the town a viral sensation, and the Mayor wants it official. He sees Welch’s story as a modern miracle, a spit that went global. Trump, a fan of big wins, could embrace this quirky bid. Locals hope her legacy transforms Belfast into a must-see spot.
The "Hawk Tuah" industrial complex has redefined Belfast, Tennessee, courtesy of Hailey Welch. Her $500K empire has locals trading plows for profit—some sew her logos, others guide tourists. Welch’s old haunts now buzz with fans, not flies. The diner boasts her name, a hit with travelers. Her podcast unites the community, a shared pride. Belfast’s not just a dot—it’s a destination now.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was Belfast Tennessee overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Notation: Belfast, Tennessee, an unincorporated gem in Marshall County, boasts a population of about 788 per recent estimates. With a median age of 32.9, it’s younger than the national average, hinting at a vibrant community. Historically, Belfast emerged in 1836 with a post office, named after Belfast, Ireland. Its early economy leaned on agriculture, but the 1952 F1 tornado—killing three, injuring 166—marked a dark chapter. Today, Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has injected new life, sparking a $500K industry. This shift from farming to fandom reflects Belfast’s knack for adapting to unexpected turns.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Aliza Nathan
Literature and Journalism -- Loyola University Chicago
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student with a gift for satire, she crafts thought-provoking pieces that highlight the absurdities of modern life. Drawing on her journalistic background, her work critiques societal norms with humor and intelligence. Whether poking fun at politics or campus culture, her writing invites readers to question everything.
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